Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Thoughts

Have I told you I got a job?
I did!
2 whole hours every morning answering the phone at Tom's office.
It's been fun. I'm surprised how fun it's been.

Have I told you that I haven't worked outside the home in 11 years?
I haven't.
I loved every moment of it.

Here's the thing:
For those 11 years when someone would ask what I did, I would proudly proclaim that I stayed home and took care of my family. Sometimes when it was a really "important" person or a high profile client of Tom's I would feel a little sheepish saying I stayed home but I still said it. I never felt bad about it and I never felt like people thought less of me. Luckily I live in a community where SAHM (stay-at-home-Mom's) are the norm.

The other day I was making arrangements to help someone and she asked,
" Do you work?"
I hesitated. I felt guilt.
I then said "yes" but felt I had to justify it.
"Oh it's just helping Tom out, it's only two hours, I'm home by 11am"
Why did I need to justify it?
I don't have any kids at home during the day, I still have plenty of time to get my stuff done around the house. In fact it has made me more productive if you can believe that!? She wasn't judging me just asking to plan out our get together.

I love being able to stay home and take care of my family. I'm grateful that I can stay home and be there for my kids. I hope I am always home when they get out of school, if they get sick and need to come home, forget their homework or lunch or just need a "play day".

I also am loving going into the office with my "grown-up" clothes and getting to see and hear the ins and outs of what Tom does. I love all the people that work in his office and hey......I'm up and out of my PJ's by 8am! It's a miracle (wink)

So, I ask you dear blogging friends:
What do you say and then feel when someone asks you what you do?

11 comments:

Kristi said...

Oh, girl, this goes deep for all of us working moms, especially those of us that want our kids to be a priority, not work! Sometimes you feel you have to justify working, then other times you want to make a statement about NOT being a SAHM! And there's plenty of guilt either way...so I just try to ejoy all the positives: Max LOVES his babysitter & her kids, he learns so much being there with other kids, I get grownup time and a paycheck, I REALLY enjoy my Fridays when I pretend I'm a SAHM...etc.

Stephanette said...

I've struggled with my self worth as a SAHM. Most of my life I have tied in who I was with what I did. I've worked for years and it was really hard to say, "I stay at home raising our son." Especially when people would talk about all of my free time. Not much lately.

Now I try to keep it simple and just say that my job is to raise my son right now.

Brandi said...

You are quite the lady. Wanted to adopt 2 year olds. I prefer the baby, baby stage and the 4 and up stages. Your not lame! Your a great mommy!
I am not working right now, but when I have... I like doing both.
"Being at home with the little ones, and have a little something on the side is what I say."

Susie said...

After working my whole life since 14 if you don't count working my Dad's concession stands at 10 I was giddy to not work. proud that I could proclaim that I was a SAHM. But then a funny thing happened. After having my 2nd I started to wonder who I was? I had always been a working woman so to go solely into diaper changer, taxi driver, chef and the like...I started to feel dare I say...that I needed to be with grown ups. I needed to feel some self worth that I was helping my family outside of the home too. It's a weird transition and although I work part time from Home I still proudly consider myself a SAHM with the perks of a grown up job. Sheeehhh. That was a book. And quite frankly I don't think I answered your question. :)

onehm said...

I always feel guilty when people ask if I work. I have to clarify that I "own my own business" and get to take Gigantor to work with me.
I'm glad that you have felt proud and grateful that you have been able to stay at home. It's a gift and a blessing that not all of us have.
You are an amazing woman and it's great that you are enjoying your little bit of time in the "working world". :)

Crazymamaof6 said...

I'm in the just a stay at home mom person. and let me tell you, i take it for granted. i don't maximize the wonder, or even act like it's a blessing.

i like going to school for the me time. i get dressed. put make-up on which otherwise i don't really have to do ever, and go out and be in the real world.

ah, and yeah i've learned to prioritize my time better. which i knew it would help me do.

but someday when i have no little ones home, and a degree, i'll have to work, and hopefully i don't miss out. and my kids will adjust. easing into it slowly. they've had a hard time knowing i'm not at their every beck and call every minute of everyday. i've had a hard time with it too.
ah.

sometimes when i've been especially productive, and i want to sound impressive instead of just a SAHM, i say i'm a Domestic Goddess. i can be. i just need to proper medication for that.

hugs! sounds fun. and i've always dreamed of wearing professional attire. never had reason to own any, but love it.

Webb Family said...

I think it sounds like the perfect set up!! And, I don't think there is anything wrong with being a stay at home mom.
I love my job and feel so blessed to have the skills to be able to bring in some extra cash & after going through Garrett dying it makes me feel good that I could do it full time & support my family.
The other perk is I get to bring them with me if their not with Dad. Now I just need a salon at my house:)

Webb Family said...

Oh and about your "I'm Lame" post. What are you talking about, I think you are wonderful & so caring for even dreaming of doing that. It takes a special person & you could do it! Love ya!!

Pam said...

Love to do both. My kids are first, but I really enjoy working too.

Let Your Hair Down said...

I never know what to say. I feel like I do both. and I work my butt off doing both. I feel guilty either way. I guess because its in my house I still feel like i am a stay at home mom because my kids are home and they are either with Chris or another family member. My Mom hasn't had kids at home for 10 years and she still says a stay at home mom :) Thats awesome you get to work for Tom- how fun!

Becca said...

I am proud to be a stay at home mom. I really don't want to work, but do some of Sam's office work at home (I really don't like it,I can't get my "Home" stuff done). I've done some odd jobs here and there, but always could have the kids with me, or Sam could be with them. I'm glad you get to spend a couple of hours at the office, even better, with Tom.