Thursday, September 30, 2010

Embarrassing Moment #437

 This picture reminded me of my Dad playing the piano.  He played the piano beautifully and always practiced for church on Sunday.  He played the organ for church services for 37 years and then played for the Primary children until he passed away.  He also played the piano every night after we went to bed so we could fall asleep to his sweet music.

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Sunday we went to Miss Amberly's very first piano recital.  She's only been playing for a month and a half but is loving every minute of it.  The recital was something special her teacher thought up called "A Night of Hymns"  It was in her home and it was amazing.  We started out singing a beautiful song and when the song was over Cassidy leaned over to me and whispered...."Mom that was a-m-a-z-i-n-g!"  And it was. 

Amberly was first on the program and before she went up she said to me, "Mom my tummy hurts and I don't feel good."  "Ah baby, that's just nerves" I told her.  When she went up to play this is what she told the audience:

"My name is Amberly.  I will play "I Often Go Walking" This song is about gathering flowers for mother, and that is special for me because my mom especially loves flowers.  She grows many kinds of flowers at our house, Gardenview Cottage."

What a beautiful thing to say!  I melted my heart because I had no idea she was going to say that.  Then she sat down and froze.  Poor thing.  Her teacher had to come help her get started and she did pretty well for having to play in front of 50+ people.  When she was done she came over to me and cried because it wasn't perfect. (she does that - little miss perfectionist)  After a few other students went up and she saw that they made mistakes as well she felt a little better.  We were so proud of her and thought she did beautifully!

Now for my embarrassing moment. Half way through the recital this boy sits down to play a two song arrangement that he did himself.  It was amazing!  Simply put, it took my breath away.  As I was listening to his beautiful music (he's quite gifted) I couldn't help but start to feel sorry for myself that my parents weren't around to play their beautiful music in our home anymore.  Then I started to really feeling sorry for myself that my kids will never hear my dad practice the piano every night for Sunday or learn fun songs from my mom.  We wont have choir practice or voice lessons or singing around the piano on holidays.  All the things I grew up doing.  Then the tears started and wouldn't stop.  I was crying uncontrollably during this boys beautiful song.  I'm talking...the ugly grief cry people with heaving and snuffing and my body was shaking and I couldn't stop.  This coming from a girl who doesn't cry...ever!  To make matters worse I was in the front row and everyone was sitting to the right of me in a different part of the room and they all had a perfect view of my breakdown.  Embarrassing.  My girls were holding my hand, rubbing my arm and just looking at me in wonder because like I said...I-don't-cry. 

Thankfully I was able to compose myself after two songs and apologized to the boy and left as soon as possible when it was over.  I'm sure everyone thought I was nuts.  I am a little nutty but mostly I'm just a girl who misses her parents and wishes she had them back.


4 comments:

Webb Family said...

I'm sorry! That is what happens to us 'none cryers' when we do cry it's not pretty!
I remember at girls camp at testimony meeting when all my friends would be crying, I would try to cry just so no one would think something was wrong with me.

Mardi said...

I miss my dad terribly too. Only Payton got to spend time with him on this earth. I am blessed to still have mom though.....Hugs!!!

robin said...

i have wonderful memories of your parents' musicality too. i still remember your dad playing in sacrament meeting and your mom and my dad singing together all the time.

the other day my mom and i were talking about how we can't believe they are gone...

Crazymamaof6 said...

and you made me cry. of course i get weepy over everything all the time. today this was it.

my heart aches for you missing your sweet parents.

and yay for Abby's first recital. sweet intro too. i was ready to tear up over that. and then...WHAM!

can't wait to see you at bunko this week. yay bunko!